alikander

Oh, my. This is more navel gazing about my child, and it got rather long.

We seem to be entering the world of martial arts. :O

Last week Fiona and I had a discussion about "learning how to fall."

...oops, I was going to refer to a previous post, but now I realize I only wrote it in my head.

So, we interrupt this post with the post I thought I had written:

* * *
Playing Roger

When I was buckling Fiona into her car seat one morning, she whispered conspiratorially,

"Astrid and I like to play Roger."

Now, it was early in the morning, and I hadn't had my Americano, yet. My thought process went something like, Roger... not a princess... some hybrid of dodgeball and red rover?

"..."

"Like the circus!" (In a tone I thought I wouldn't hear for a few years yet.)

Of course. Roger the Guy on the Trampoline, from the circus at Story Land.

"Oh, so you both like to jump like Roger?"

"No. Astrid is Roger, and I tell her what to do."

* * *

And now, back to this post...

In addition to her Roger/Kim Sue obsession, Fiona had recently watched The Dancing Frog, and been fascinated by George's pratfalls off of stilts.

Now, I had had vague ideas of Fiona doing some kind of martial arts someday, in a nebulous, maybe-it-would-be-cool, kinda way (I have similar thoughts about soccer), but this seemed to be the proverbial hot iron.

I asked if she was interested in learning how to fall, like George and Roger. She said yes. I asked if she might like to try martial arts, where you learn how to fall, and also how to kick. She said yes. I talked to her about it again that evening, and she spent a good five minutes punching her towel where it hangs against the bathroom wall. O-kay.

So, I set to work researching classes. It turned out that few dojos offer to teach kids her age. Most places want the kids to be 4, 5, or even 6.

That caused me to reassess whether it was too soon for her or not. I probed her interest some more, and it seemed genuine (as near as one can tell with a three-year-old). We took her by one of the local dojos, and she was intrigued, especially since we chanced to see some "big girls" (~10, I think), just leaving from their class.

I worried that I would miss a window, if I put it off. She is so into girl culture (princesses, ballet), that I want to give her an alternative while she is still open to it. I had researched soccer for her, but, while Cambridge has a program for kids her age, Belmont doesn't start it until kindergarten. (She likes watching the girls play soccer on the fields near our home, and wants to be a "soccer girl.")

Another alternative is gymnastics, which she had done last spring, and certainly could involve learning how to fall. But, it is also rather... gentle, at least the way it's presented at this age.

And here's the thing: Fiona is fierce. She is fierce in both negative and positive ways. For example, when she is happy, she will GRAB you. Many kids are like this, trying to figure out how to control their energy, but it has been an exceptional and long-term trait with Fiona. When she was a biter (she had a longer career of it that most kids from about 10 mos to well over two years), she would bite in joy as often as in anger.

She actually does an awesome job controlling her impulses these days. But I wonder, would I say, "Be gentle!" as often if she were a boy? As she learns to control her fierceness, I don't want her to lose it or subvert it. I want to give her a place where it is celebrated and cultivated, but safely for herself and others. Gymnastics and dance--as they are presented to her age-group--don't tap into those emotions (although there is certainly a place for them in both).

So, a little more research. Turns out, the dojo we had shown her was the only one with a location and schedule that we could accommodate. But. They do "Mixed Martial Arts." I am not thrilled by this. I confess that in my nebulous, maybe-it-would-be-cool pre-thinking about martial arts, I had imagined something... well, not so martial, something more about inner strength and less about beating the crap outta someone.

More thinking.

One good thing about the dojo in question is that they don't just take any kid for the class of youngsters. Each kid has to meet one-on-one with the sensei (Sensei Bobby, to be precise, which amuses me), and then also try out a class. Bobby has been teaching kids for >15 years, which is also a good thing. And... I see that open window. So, I decided to take it one step at time.

We went to meet Sensei Bobby on Monday, and Fiona was awesome! She loved it! Bobby showed her "listening stance," "fighting stance," a couple of blocks, and had her do some kicks. I had an eep moment when I saw the big man hitting my child with a (very soft foam) bat, but I was really more amused at my reaction than actually alarmed.

We're going to try out a class next Tuesday evening. I'm hoping that, just as the ballet and gymnastics are watered down, this will be, too, and that I can slip through this open window now, foster her fierceness, and, when she's older, move to a more palatable style. (Aikido? Are you reading this, DB?)

Btw, Fiona did worry that we would be doing this instead of ballet, and I assured her that we would do both. So, I'm on the road to having one of those over-scheduled children. Hmmm... Well, it's 45 mins of ballet and 30 mins of martial arts per week, so maybe it's not too bad, and these classes supplement what her parents cannot teach her. I know some of her classmates do much more intensive studies, e.g. Suzuki musical instruction, plus language studies, plus this, that, and the other.

I'm worried that I'm crossing the fuzzy line between encouragement and pushing (because I feel rather strongly about the fierceness issue), so I'm going to try to carefully monitor her interest level as we go forward.

I am nervous, alternately excited and apprehensive, because I am stepping outside of my comfort zone, but I'm hopeful that this will benefit Fiona in the long run.

Let's hear it for the Kung-fu fairy princess ballerina!